

When it comes to dating, there are certain behaviours that are healthy, and some that can work against you. You may not even realise you’re guilty of these bad habits, but they could be the reason you struggle with healthy relationships in the long term.
If you want to break these habits, you’ll first have to understand what you might be doing wrong.
Only communicating through text
The text-only guys are often referred to as lazy or someone juggling multiple women at once. But lately, even the good guys are falling into this trap. Texting has become a dominant method of communication, but the problem is that conversations over a screen can never completely replace actual interaction. You miss facial expressions, tone and all those little non-verbal cues that help people connect.
The truth is, men and women may communicate differently, but everyone needs real conversation to build intimacy. So, if you never take the time to call, meet or even suggest a video call, you’re missing out on making the relationship stronger.
Overusing the word ‘crazy’
The problem with calling a woman “crazy” is how casually the word gets thrown around whenever she reacts in a way you don’t like.
If she is genuinely upset because you showed up late without calling, that doesn’t automatically make her crazy. It could simply mean she has a perfectly reasonable problem with what you did.
Of course, there are situations where behaviour can genuinely be extreme. But using “crazy” to dismiss every disagreement is an easy way of avoiding an actual conversation.
Being overly polite
This means asking for everything or seeking permission to do the simplest things. You don’t have to ask her what she wants to do every single time.
Take the initiative. If you want to take her on a date, suggest a place. Make a plan. And if she doesn’t like it? You’ve learnt something about each other. If she appreciates the effort, even better. Either way, you’ve moved the relationship forward.
Not making a move
Making a move isn’t only about physical intimacy. It is also about showing clear interest. If you’re chatting, ask her out. If you’ve already gone on a date and enjoyed yourself, ask for another one. Take her somewhere different instead of repeating the same café routine every time.
Never saying what you really want
Being straightforward doesn’t mean being rude. It simply means standing up for yourself and saying what you actually think and want. If she disrespects you or says something that doesn’t sit right with you, communicate it. Tell her you don’t like being treated or spoken to that way.
You don’t have to become a “yes man” just to keep someone interested. Over-complimenting, constantly seeking validation, putting her on a pedestal and being available 24/7 can make the connection feel forced.
Being a nice guy doesn’t mean losing yourself. The idea is to be kind, confident, clear about what you want and, most importantly, honest about who you are.
—manuvipin@newindianexpress.com
@ManuVipin
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