I always thought about suicide till I was 25, worked in only two movies out of 35: AR Rahman
Indian composer AR Rahman recently opened up about personal issues that not many people know about and even made a shocking revelation, which most of his fans hadn’t known until now. Rahman said growing up he always felt like he wasn’t good enough and even had suicidal thoughts till he was 25 years before his debut in Mani Ratnam’s Roja.
AR Rahman said the initial low phase in his career was a very bad time as he used to always think about suicide because he had lost his father and there was this void and with so many things happening, he could not control anything. However, that made him very fearless and helped him become a better person. Talking about the particular phase in his life, he said things were very dormant for him and even though he got 35 movies, he only did two of them. There were many people who even asked him how he was going to survive because of the choices and all he had to do was grab everything he had, with both hands. AR Rahman, who converted to Sufi Islam, said he even hated his original name Dileep Kumar, and he didn’t even know why but he wanted to be somebody else which would define him. The composer said he wanted to change as a person and get rich of the past baggage in his life.
The composer has revealed all of the stages in his upcoming book called Notes of a Dream: The Authorized Biography of AR Rahman by Krishna Trilok. Rahman added that since his father RK Shekhar was a popular music composer who passed away really early, it made him take up music at nine. The early introduction made him pursue everything from 12-22 and everything he did after that, he got bored of because there was nothing new for him.