What is dating violence? Warning signs and red flags in modern relationships

Dating violence refers to a pattern of physical, emotional, psychological or sexual abuse within an intimate relationship. The insidious nature of these behaviours recently sparked widespread public discussion following abuse allegations surrounding South Korean actor Hong Min-ki. His former partner detailed an escalating cycle of obsessive calls, verbal degradation and physical aggression, reflecting that it took weeks after their split to realise that what she experienced “was not love, but violence and exploitation”. Although Min-ki and his management have strongly denied the claims and initiated legal action for defamation, the case has highlighted how emotional abuse often masquerades as romantic intensity.

What is dating violence? Signs of relationship abuse

While many people associate relationship violence exclusively with overt physical harm such as hitting, pushing or throwing objects, dating violence frequently manifests through subtle psychological coercion and digital invasion that gradually erode a partner’s autonomy.

The spectrum of intimate partner abuse extends across multiple behaviours:

Emotional and psychological manipulation

It involves severe jealousy, gaslighting, constant insults, intimidation, obsessive calling and threats of self-harm or violence to instill fear and guilt.

Control and privacy invasion

This encompasses demanding account passwords, tracking a partner’s physical location and reading private messages without consent.

Physical and sexual harm

Spans aggressive grabbing, assault, non-consensual touching and forcing sexual contact after boundaries have been set.

Victims of dating violence frequently struggle to identify abuse because perpetrators tend to oscillate between extreme affection and hostility. This volatile cycle often leads individuals to shoulder unwarranted blame, mistaking possessiveness for genuine care. Recognising that a healthy relationship is rooted in mutual respect—rather than surveillance, fear or emotional manipulation—remains the most vital step toward reclaiming safety and setting decisive boundaries.

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