Some of us really love our independence. We pride our ability to finish work on our own, instead of relying on others at the office. However, we forget that our 'people skills' and 'ability to work collaboratively' as a 'team player' are taking a backseat, even if those are some skills we vouched for on our resume.
We may be 'cutting to the chase' to drop the important facts and figures at the meeting, but did we care to find out how everyone else is doing at the table? Are they on the same page?
Do they even care about the meeting?
Being able to read the room is important and there's one despicable trait we need to cultivate to get there: small talk.
You might think ignoring small talk is okay because you're skipping distractions. But in reality, you could be missing out on meaningful connections that someone less efficient might be better at building.
Office politics exist whether you like it or not
Avoiding small talk and gossip is naive, not noble. When you're scrambling for a promotion, it may be helpful to remember your boss's partner is struggling with a health condition or their pet's name, instead of only piling facts and data on the table.
They need to be able to remember you by face and your qualities, not just your skills.
How to initiate small talk
It may be difficult at first, but embrace the awkwardness. People communicate differently and it can help to mirror them. Do they prefer to talk about a specific subject? Do they stand at a distance while speaking with you? Notice their body language.
A good step forward is by asking co-workers about their days, their weekends and families, no matter how boring, and actually taking an interest in them, not just their work.
It may help you to be more 'likeable' rather than just coming across as 'hard-working'.
Of course, timing matters as well. If you're approaching them on a particularly busy day, of course, they're likely to be irritated.
You can always go for low-stakes conversations online instead, if you are already communicating about work. They get to choose when to respond.
You might also find it easy to have light chit-chats on Friday afternoons or during work events after the workflow has eased. Those are times when your co-workers and upper management are likely to be in the mood to chat.
No matter what relationship you go for, small-talk is the foreplay you must start with. Giving away too much or prodding people for details they don't want to share only push them away. If not a work bestie, at least you'll find your workdays more tolerable with some people to talk to.