COVER | 'My Life is a preparation: Sirf Ek Bandaa Kaafi Hai star Manoj Bajpayee

About five decades back, a man named after the famous Indian actor Manoj Kumar was born in the small village of Belwa in Bihar. No one back then fathomed that he would go on to become the original indie star of India, giving memorable performances as a bad boy of the underworld, Bhiku Mhatre in Satya; irredeemable goon Sardar Khan in the cult flick Gangs of Wasseypur; a Naxalite in socio-political drama Chakravyuh; a homosexual professor in the critically acclaimed Aligarh; and the investigative officer in the popular series The Family Man, amongst many more. We’re speaking of one of the finest actors in India and the most down-to-earth personality, Manoj Bajpayee. With three National Awards under his belt and a Padma Shri for his contribution to the art, Manoj is not your average run-of-the-mill actor. He’s a dynamic chameleon, effortlessly slipping into the skin of one character after another, leaving us spellbound with every portrayal.

Peel a few layers of his characters and underneath you’d find a vulnerable yet strong man with unparalleled resilience. From tough times in his theatre days in Delhi, being rejected by the National School of Drama thrice, to having fleeting suicidal thoughts thereupon, Manoj nevertheless continued his journey in theatre and honed his mettle despite life throwing a curveball at him. His craft is as real as his struggle which is why when director Barry John saw him, he took him under his wings in the 1990s. There was no looking back after that. While he received appreciation for his roles in Bandit Queen, Shool, Zubeidaa and Aks, he lived his fair share of struggle that started from residing in Mumbai’s chawls in his formative years to encountering harsh criticism regarding his physical appearance. A “top actress” once told him on his face that he was “not good looking” while others felt he neither had the charisma of a hero nor the menace of a villain. However, Manoj proved his detractors wrong by acing both heroic and villainous roles with such brilliance that actors like Nawazuddin Siddiqui, Kay Kay Menon, and the late Irrfan Khan were vocal in expressing their gratitude for his trailblazing contribution.

In his 50s now, Manoj has matured like fine wine where he’s able to zone out of his roles to pursue his personal life, all thanks to his actor wife Shabana Raza, who taught him the art of separating the personal and the professional. Additionally, his 12-year old daughter Ava Nayla taught him patience, letting him go of his once hot-tempered nature. In our heartto-heart conversation, the talented actor opens up about the life lessons he’s gleaned from the innocence of children, spills the beans about his latest project Sirf Ek Bandaa Kaafi Hai based on a sexual abuse case and weighs on his momentous journey replete with ups and downs.

Tell us what grabbed your interest in the intense courtroom drama Sirf Ek Bandaa Kaafi Hai.
The movie is based on real events that have already occurred and are known to the public; however, the way the story was written with grit captivated my interest. I am portraying the role of a lawyer who hails from a small town and embodies the qualities of an ordinary individual. Despite being a regular advocate, he takes on a pro bono case and demonstrates commendable determination in fighting for justice till the end. His commitment to reaching a resolution is noteworthy, as he internalises every aspect of the case. What I particularly admire is how this character acknowledges his ordinariness and does not view the case as a means to achieve personal success or popularity. He performs his job diligently, remaining emotionally detached from his client (a sexually abused girl), the victim in this case. Additionally, he is a father, has an ageing mother and is a devout worshipper of Lord Shiva. These distinctive background traits strongly appealed to me.

Do you have a particular inclination towards playing characters that are ordinary in life?
I believe so! What I appreciate about the common man is how they are the hero of their own story without even knowing it. I feel success is often measured by wealth, status, and position but what is remarkable about ordinary individuals is that they fight battles every day without even complaining about it. That makes them the unsung heroes of their own narrative. I see the beauty of these heroes in everyday life. For instance, if you are travelling in a local train in Mumbai, from Church Gate to Virar, you would witness them celebrating life in its most mundane moments — they sing, dance, sell vegetables, engage in gossip, travel in trains, reach home and help in household chores, sleep early, and again wake up at 4 o’clock in the morning to catch the 5 o’clock train! They repeat this routine every day without feeling low by the routine struggles. I truly admire this zest for life they have.

What has been the most difficult human trait or emotion to portray on screen?
It was very difficult for me to perform in films like Aligarh, Bhonsle or Gali Guleiyan. These are the characters that bear emotions of restlessness where their mind is not at peace and there are thousands of thoughts, crisscrossing one another that make them unsettled. At the same time, my characters in Aligarh and Bhosle are drowned in loneliness. Internalising someone else’s loneliness was very tough as what they were going through was deeply personal.

Have you ever taken the baggage of a character home?
I have (laughs)! And my family has become accustomed to it. My wife, being an actress herself, understands the dedication and hard work involved in acting. However, my daughter, who is going to be a teen soon, is not yet aware of the depth of preparation that goes into portraying a character. When she returns from her boarding school on weekends, she wants my attention, but most of the time, she prefers to have her own space. This is quite typical of teenagers — they don’t want their parents around all the time (laughs).

Being around your daughter, is there anything she teaches you?
My daughter is constantly teaching me, whether I am consciously seeking to learn or not (laughs). One valuable lesson I’ve learned from children is the freedom they possess in their thoughts and actions which is completely devoid of prejudice. This is what makes childhood so incredibly beautiful.

How has life taught you to become a better actor?
My process of character preparation doesn’t start when I receive a role. Rather, my life is a preparation! I have lived through the peaks of goodness and the depths of adversity coming from a humble village in Bihar to bustling metropolises like Delhi and Bombay. Throughout my life, I have met diverse individuals and been to places just to observe surroundings and people. These rich experiences have granted me profound insights into the human condition which has been my lifelong research. For instance, I don’t feel compelled to visit lawyers especially because I am playing the role of an advocate. I have already been to lower courts and station courts before and seen them closely. I have already lived in a chawl myself to intimately portray a sketch of a person living in a chawl.

When you came to Delhi, how did you cope up with the hardships?
I grew up in a large family with five siblings, and my father worked as a farmer. Our humble home in the village made it challenging to afford education for all of us. Witnessing the struggles of my father was truly difficult for me. When I moved to Delhi, there were times when I went hungry, but the hunger in my stomach was overshadowed by my burning desire to learn and explore. The passion to acquire knowledge outweighed any physical discomfort. I remember I used to devote 18 hours a day doing theatre and continued that for a decade! It boosted my self-confidence.

Being from Delhi's theatre circuit, did you engage in ragging in your college days?
Ragging to hum log hamesha ek doosre se karte (laughs) (We always used to rag). In fact, theatre folks don’t even realise it when they’re ragging each other — it’s all part of the drama. It's a fun way to teach one another not to take things too seriously and laugh at yourself.

What are the things that put you off and what kept you going?
Oh, I’ve had such incidents where, if someone else were in my shoes, they might have considered jumping in front of a train (laughs)! But I’m a stubborn fellow. I have unwavering confidence in my abilities and a firm belief in myself as an actor. There have been plenty of low moments. Just picture this: you give your first shot, and then you’re asked to take off the costume and head back home. Or imagine finding out, on reaching the set, that someone else has been chosen last minute to play the role you were given. And what about shooting as the main lead, only to overhear the director telling the assistant director that you’re a pathetic actor, resulting in you getting booted out! I’ve faced all these but never took them too seriously. I always thought, ‘It’s just not my time yet. ‘These directors don’t know much’(smiles). In my mind, I found it amusing and chuckled at their ignorance. That confidence stemmed from the rigorous work I put in during my theatre days. However, I did feel down in the dumps at times but I always reminded myself that I can’t afford to be depressed for too long, especially in a city like Mumbai that can swiftly change its opinion of a person the following Friday.

You have grown very active on Instagram. Have you become a tech-savvy person in real?
Honestly, there is a team that manages my social media (smiles). I have no interest in or experience with digital platforms and I am quite reluctant when it comes to using them. In fact, I am not even familiar with operating a laptop! When you see me modelling for social media, it is a task! I try to copy other models from magazines (laughs).

How do you keep yourself calm and composed?
I have made a conscious decision to avoid constantly being on the edge. I believe that rushing or hurrying will only harm me. Instead, I prefer to take things easy and only become alert and attentive when I am playing a character. In my personal life, I am quite laid-back, always seeking time to relax at home. I enjoy reading, watching films, and spending quality time with my daughter to unwind.

The cuss words that you use in acting often grab the audience’s attention. Have you ever used them on purpose?
Sometimes, the profane language is present in the script. Other times, when I feel that a certain performance needs a certain kind of gaali (cuss word) I use that to enhance the act. My intention is not to sensationalise but rather to uplift the performance appropriately. In fact, if my co-actor, director or writer incorporates profanity unnecessarily, I advise them to chuck it.

Sirf Ek Bandaa Kaafi Hai is streaming on Zee5.
Mail: priyamvada@newindianexpress.com
Twitter: @RanaPriyamvada