
Most people carrying Hermes are merely playing rich. The truly initiated – the collectors, the silent assassins of luxury chase only what can’t be bought. The rest of us are just window-shopping in denial. And what is the moral of this luxurious madness? In a world drowning in “quiet luxury,” these bags whisper nothing. They command. They exist for the collectors who’ve ascended beyond shopping, the ones who don’t need to post, tag, or brag. They already own what everyone else is still Googling. Welcome to the top of the Hermès food chain, where price tags vanish, craftsmanship borders on neurosis, and the air smells faintly of crocodile and power.

This bag is so unattainable that it makes an average Birkin look like luggage. Crafted from Niloticus crocodile and hand-dyed to mimic the Himalayan peaks, it’s the fashion equivalent of divine intervention. Some come with diamond-encrusted white-gold hardware because clearly, subtlety is for the middle class. Auction houses have moved these for nearly half a million dollars. That’s not a handbag, that’s a trophy.

Jean-Paul Gaultier in his dark genius era decided that Hermes needed a bag that matched the souls of the Paris fashion elite. Thus: black leather, black hardware, black everything. The So Black Kellys and Birkins are stealth wealth before that phrase was bastardised by TikTok. The alligator editions cost our annual salary every ten minutes.

The Faubourg Birkin is a miniature architectural fantasy replicating the brand’s own Rue du Faubourg Saint-Honoré boutique. Leathers are layered like fine patisserie, and each one is stitched by an artisan who probably aged five years per bag. It's released in teasingly small numbers. The “Snow” edition is already a collector’s fever dream. It’s less a purse and more a love letter to Hermès’ ego and we’re here for it.

Born in 2004–05, back when Hermes flirted with futurism. With metallic bronze and silver leathers so temperamental they nearly broke the atelier’s will. And the production ended quickly because perfectionists hate imperfection. The result was a finish that shimmers like a secret and ages like scandal.

This is a high-gloss, high-maintenance sin. These bags are crocodile leather wrapped in 18-karat white gold and literal diamonds. Carried by women who don’t check price tags or conscience. It’s not even really a bag anymore; it’s a flex disguised as craftsmanship. Sotheby’s once sold one for the GDP of a small island.