What’s a void? Why does it grow bigger every day and get the better of us? Do the whispered struggles of ‘lonely’ men linger in obscurity? Why do they remain notably scarce, relegated to the shadows of pop culture and societal discourse?
Recently, the Reddit community at r/india shared pixels and threads, a vital platform for candid conversations to take place, shining a much-needed spotlight on the overlooked epidemic of male loneliness.
Redditors discussed the complex layers of loneliness, peeling back the veneer of societal expectations to expose the raw, pulsating heart of the issue. They delve into what is contributing to this pervasive seclusion, from the temporality of goodwills beyond the inalienable halls of college to the suffocating weight of career aspirations.
Comments echo the resonance of shared experiences, illuminating the repercussions of a society that prioritises academic prowess over the subtle art of human connection. Individuals were heard mourning the missed opportunities for meaningful interactions, lamenting the toll it takes on mental well-being and the barren landscape of adulthood devoid of close companionship, or even closure.
What causes it anyway? While there is no simple answer, or perhaps, no answer at all, most of us think of it as a mere byproduct of romantic or sexual dissatisfaction. But is it so? Or is it that constructs, cultural norms, and systemic barriers that perpetuate feelings of alienation and detachment?
Post-college life is difficult when friendships wane, and social dynamics shift like tectonic plates. No more relatability, but just a mere relation of pleasantries may also aggravate the relentless demands of work, and family.
Developed by John Bowlby, attachment theory explores emotional bonds between individuals, particularly in the context of caregiver-infant relationships. Research suggests that the quality of early attachments can influence one’s ability to form and maintain relationships later in life. In the case of male loneliness, things get worse mostly because avoidance or ambivalence may impede the development of intimate affinities, exacerbating feelings of isolation.
Time and again, dictated to adhere to stoicism, men have various coping strategies to manage loneliness, ranging from active problem-solving to distraction. “Right now, my only priority is my career and not love,” is the usual reaction. Even if they are in love, they won’t let their love grow.
So, let’s break the silence. While the issue of patriarchy may not have a definitive solution that can be neatly packaged and applied universally, the act of discussing it openly and honestly holds immense value in itself. When individuals realise that they are not alone in their experiences, they may feel more empowered to seek support and connect with others who can empathise as kindness will always be now and next in fashion.