This survey suggests how modern men in India are breaking old dating stereotypes

In lieu of International Men's Day, dating app QuackQuack ran a survey among 12,000 male users from tier I, II and III cities, hinting at a refreshing shift in the way men in India approach dating today. According to the survey, today's modern men have moved away from the traditional stereotypes, embraced vulnerability, pushed beyond superficial connections, have become more transparent about their discrepancies and red flags and have also started advocating equality.

The survey was conducted during the first week of this month and the respondents were between the ages of 20 and 35. These included a mix of students, job seekers, working professionals and business owners to ensure a well-rounded, comprehensive perspective.

Transparency about red flags

Over one-third of the respondents between 25 and 35 reported discussing their already-identified ‘red flags’ with potential matches during the initial chatting stage. It is high-risk, but they deem it best to be transparent about character traits that can be difficult for others to adjust to while they work on improving them. They disclosed bringing up difficult conversations like past relationship mistakes, mental health issues and work-life imbalance, leaving behind the “dark and mysterious” facade to open up and build a healthy connection. Men are taking accountability, and the approach ensures that both parties are clear on their expectations.

Openly vulnerable

26% of men from urban, suburban and rural India shared that online dating apps have helped them get in touch with their vulnerable side; it's easier to be open about weaknesses from behind the screen than in face-to-face exchanges. Sameer (28) from Delhi said, “Digital interactions give a sort of 'buffer' while sharing complex things like career-related anxieties, commitment issues, and even family matters.”

Awareness is their middle name

Three in five men between the ages of 20 and 30 seemed to recognise mental health as a priority and self-care-a necessity. Ajay from Mangaluru said, “It's a new model of masculinity. We do not hit the gym only to impress women; we do so to keep our minds and bodies healthy, and the sheer realisation of it is a significant development in the way men think.”

Acknowledging equality

Nearly 37% of male users above 30 revealed their desire for a relationship based on mutual independence and equality. Many respondents laughed at the “stoic provider” status men once carried. Himangshu, a social worker from Assam, noted, "I don't mind splitting the cheque with my dates or being pampered with some gifts. It does not hurt my ego. These are no more gender-specific responsibilities. Why should one gender lead and the other follow? It isn’t fair either.”

Responding to the question about dealing with a partner who earns more and the impacts of it on the relationship, three in six men shared that they would be genuinely happy for their partner’s success and wholeheartedly support her in achieving more. They also cleared that it does not reflect on their career standing, hence creating no potential clash in the relationship.

Men, too, have boundaries

Contrary to popular belief, 29% of male daters revealed actively setting boundaries with new matches, whether it is not pulling an all-nighter on call or boundaries around personal time, preferences, and, for some, even exclusivity. Modern daters are trying to normalise not wanting to be “all in from the beginning” approach to give more value to their personal space and avoid relationship burnout.