The untold burden behind Pongal celebrations

As families celebrate the harvest festival with joy, a closer look reveals an unbalanced burden on women and domestic workers. From societal expectations to the silent weight of unpaid labour, the festival highlights the enduring need for shared responsibility and inclusive celebration
The untold burden behind Pongal celebrations
Mandar Pardikar
Published on
Updated on
4 min read

The harvested sugarcanes and freshly pounded rice await the arrival of the sun. People sweep courtyards, draw intricate kolams, ready clay pots and collect firewood. Pongal has arrived — a time to honour the harvest, the sun, and the Earth. In villages, the festival is deeply rooted in tradition: homes are adorned with mango leaves, cattle is decorated with garlands, and families gather in open courtyards to cook pongal under the open sky.

In cities, however, the celebration has evolved. The essence of Pongal remains, but high-rise apartments replaced courtyards, and grocery stores substituted freshly harvested grains. Families have adapted, preparing festive meals in modern kitchens and celebrating amid the hum of urban busyness. Yet, across both landscapes, one thread remains constant — the unbalanced burden of labour.

Women, whether in the village or city, bear the weight of the festival. From cleaning homes and preparing elaborate feasts to managing rituals and ensuring every detail is perfect, their efforts often go unnoticed. Men’s contributions, though important, leans toward visible, ceremonial roles. As the clay pot boils over and chants of “Pongalo Pongal!” echoes, the joyous celebration masks an enduring disparity, raising the question: can true festivity thrive without shared responsibility?

Mental load and constant labour

Nithya, who works in Chennai but hails from Theni, shares a vivid picture of Pongal preparations in her community. “In our village, most people are land-owning farmers, and both men and women participate in the preparations,” she says. However, despite the shared workload, she acknowledges the disproportionate mental load carried by women. “Women are the ones constantly telling others what to bring and do. That invisible burden is always there.” She describes how whitewashing homes, washing vessels, purchasing new earthen stoves, and bathing cattle are shared between genders. However, maintaining cattle sheds remains a laborious daily task assigned to women.

“It’s the everyday responsibilities that weigh women down, not just the festive ones,” she adds. She also recalls her mother’s exhausting late-night preparations for sweets and savories until the family shifted to store-bought items and encouraged her brother to pitch in. “Eventually, he began contributing without needing to be told, reducing my mother’s load,” she says.

Pointing to a silent resignation to societal norms often in households, S Nandhini, an MBA graduate, speaks about her experience of managing three consecutive days of Pongal celebrations. “It’s always the women’s responsibility to wake the family, cook, prepare for the puja, dress the children, and manage hospitality,” she says.

Despite occasional appreciation for their efforts, the burden persists. “Even when we talk about it, there’s no real change. We’ve simply come to accept that we have to manage everything,” she says. Even as families celebrate together, the workload disproportionately rests on the shoulders of women and domestic workers.

The plight of domestic workers illustrates the imbalance even further. Nithya remarks that even during festivals, domestic workers continue their daily rounds in flats and homes. While some resident associations offer a token collection as compensation, asking them to work on festive days prevents them from celebrating in their own homes.

“Their contribution is rarely acknowledged,” she adds. While Usharani, a domestic worker from Alandur, acknowledges that she receives help from her husband in daily chores at home, there is an extra load during festivities. She says, “There is often no bonus or extra pay during Pongal. We still have to work for others even on festival days, which means double the labour because we also need to manage our own households.”

Burden of societal expectations

A new bride, Varshini Rajasekhar highlights societal pressures that accompany festive preparations. “People have already started asking me about my first Pongal — whether I’ll cook, how I’ll dress, what kolam I’ll make,” she says. While her in-laws are supportive, societal expectations linger. “I’ll do what I can, but I won’t do things just to please others,” she adds.

Despite geographical shifts, the patterns of unbalanced labour persist. Lotika, an editor, observes that women are the bearers of culture across societies. “In many diaspora gatherings, women cluster in the kitchen while men socialise. Festivals have become more about displaying privilege in social bubbles than genuine community gatherings. This realisation diminished my interest,” shares Lotika who only indulges in minimal celebration of festivals.

Not seasonal splendour

Nandhini emphasises that household work, whether during festivals or regular days, should be shared by both men and women. “Education and awareness are key. We need to teach both genders that domestic responsibilities are a shared duty.” She envisions the ideal celebration as one where every family member works together.

Addressing the broader implications of unpaid domestic labour, she believes it reinforces patriarchal norms and stresses the importance of self-care. “Personal time for women is crucial. Women shouldn’t hesitate to voice their need for rest. When they need a break, they should take it unapologetically.”

Varshini echoes this sentiment, pointing out that even well-educated men often perpetuate patriarchal norms. “Accountability is essential. Education alone isn’t enough if people aren’t willing to act on it,” she says.

For a truly inclusive and equitable festive culture, it is essential to challenge the norms daily, not just during holidays. Inclusion and fairness must be a way of life, not a performance tied to a calendar date.

(Written by Diya Maria George)

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