Summer shading is the hot season’s new dating trend

Are you trying to reach out to your romantic partner (or "situation"), but calls or messages keep getting ignored? Perhaps, they are busy or they're in an emergency, you think, but no, they seem perfectly all right when you check their social media. So, what's going on? The dating app Wingman calls this phenomenon "summer shading" which involves “putting a romantic interest on hold” during summer. So they may reduce contact, without officially breaking up.

The Wingman survey revealed about 67% of users experienced summer shading, either as initiators or recipients

Ouch.

This is sort of similar to orbiting wherein both are still 'in touch' on social media and even check each other's stories and posts, but do not converse. But shading someone is like keeping them on the potential 'fling list' without saying why they're being pushed off.

It's a pause on your relationship: not ghosting, but cooling things off until fall.

People do this for all sorts of reasons. As temperatures soar, people often seek freedom, fun and spontaneity. They focus on travel, festivals, and flings.

It’s the counterpart to “cuffing season,” where colder months foster commitment and couplings. But how would you know you're getting shaded?

The biggest sign is a slowdown of communication. The time in between their texts get longer until they eventually stop.

You feel left out as their social media and summer plans proceed without you. It doesn't matter if they're your long-term friend-turned fling. Communication breakdown can still occur. Messages simply become sparse, delayed, or perfunctory. Plans become non‐committal: “We’ll see…” or “Let’s reconvene later.” *Sighs*

Amid an array of other Gen Z dating issues, this one too relies on the lack of communication. It leaves the other person feeling benched, emotionally ignored, or undervalued.

It can be seen as unkind or manipulative as you or your partner is keeping someone on the hook while enjoying summer life. If you’re trying to shade someone you have no intention of getting with, try to communicate your intent; there's no need for disrespect.

Don’t ghost. You know how it feels to be ghosted. The anxiety and drastic plunge in self-esteem feels awful. Would you really wish it on someone else?

If you’re being shaded, try to see if you can discuss the changes and get the situation clarified. Don't panic if they don't respond straight away. People can be cruel. You shouldn't rely on their responses to keep your nervous system in check.

During the communication pause, reflect on what you want: Do you need commitment or are you okay with space?

Ultimately, enjoy your summer. Don't let someone else ruin it for you. Whatever their intentions, you should steer clear from the 'toxic route' and take adequate care of yourself.

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