John Cena is finally hanging up the jorts, for real this time. But in true John fashion, the man didn’t just drop a farewell date but announced a tournament. A 16-man, multi-brand, possibly cross-promotional showdown to decide who gets the ultimate golden ticket: beating or being beaten by John Cena in his last ever match. It’s called The Last Time Is Now Tournament, because of course it is. WWE loves its puns, and Cena loves a dramatic exit that could double as a merch slogan.
The brackets kick off November 10 on Monday Night Raw in Boston — Cena’s home turf — and end December 13 in D.C., where he’ll wrestle his grand finale. It’s got all the makings of a sports-entertainment fever dream: Raw guys, SmackDown guys, maybe even some NXT dark horses or “outsiders” (John’s words, not ours).
Now, if you’re wondering why he is doing it this way instead of just picking, say, Randy Orton for Round 8,000 because that’s the genius. A self-proclaimed “workhorse” till the end, John’s turning his exit into a storyline that feeds half the locker room. It’s one last rub for the next generation, plus a ratings boost for six weeks straight. The man’s not just leaving; he’s leaving like a marketing strategist with abs.
This format gives WWE a way to test-drive its next megastar. Win this thing, and you’re not just John Cena’s last opponent, you’re anointed. It’s the Undertaker streak effect but minus the tombstones. Whoever wins will walk into that final match with the weight of sixteen careers and about fifty years of John Cena memes on their shoulders.
Of course people suspect that the finale will end with a handshake, a salute, and maybe a cheeky “You can’t see me” fade to black, because even in retirement, John will find a way to make himself invisible just when you start missing him again.
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