Remember the controversial Deepika Padukone and Ranveer Singh interview on Koffee with Karan where Deepika spoke about the initial stages of their relationship? She clearly stated that while they had met there was no real commitment between them before Ranveer proposed.
In fact, the two of them had actually met other people but somewhere in her head, she was committed to him. If you find this confusing, then welcome to the world of Gen-Z dating terminologies…because this phenomenon is called benching. Well, coming to the term itself, benching or parking means to keep in hand. And that is what happens in most dating sites, where one benches a chat, explores around, and if required comes back to the one benched!
While earlier it used to be a one-time commitment with one person or even arranged, today the world has changed. With the availability of numerous dating apps and hundreds of choices to choose from how does one decide who is good for them without exploring?
Benching also stems out from the term FOMO or Fear of Missing Out. One makes it clear that they don’t want to settle too early, but they also want to keep a status in society by telling that they are supposedly ‘seeing’ someone. Moreover, Gen-Z is becoming increasingly non-committal and emotionally unreliable and unavailable, resulting in benching.
How to recognise signs of benching?
Signals always exist, you need to interpret them correctly. First, remember you are very much a part of the other’s life or thoughts, and yet while complete silence doesn’t exist, texting or meet-ups also remain far and few so that none forgets the other.
Second, the person who is benched starts developing a sense of waiting around for eternity without solid commitment. This feeling of being in someone’s life and yet not being there wholly, at times, takes a toll on the health and mental health. There is a constant search of finding out the answer to questions like, ‘ Are we together?’ or ‘ Is this working out / will work out?’ and more. However, the bottom line remains the same – it may work out, and it may not. You are just a part of their life but definitely not a major one, because you are ‘in waiting’.