When Chai Meets Grief : Writer Andaleeb Wajid on her latest book, which explores layered emotions

How does a mere process of making tea, especially for oneself, trigger layers of emotions? For writer Andaleeb Wajid, the technique holds a metaphor of grief. With around 35 novels under her belt, Wajid’s recent memoir Learning to Make Tea for One delves into her stirring journey of navigating the challenges of losing loved ones.

Writer andaleeb Wajid opens up on her new book

“Tea time in my house wasn’t a rigid or fixed event. Every evening, I would make tea for the three of us, my husband, Mansoor; and mother-in-law. My husband preferred it if I made the tea. It wasn’t a task that I particularly enjoyed though. However, in the days after they were gone and I returned home, I set about making tea and my mind automatically counted out the cups, for Mansoor, Phuppujan (mother-in-law) and me. I then realised that I would never be counting cups for them again. It made me realise that it was a metaphor for my life going forward,” says Wajid, keeping it raw.

Writing the memoir was a therapeutic experience for Wajid – allowing her to process the emotions and find solace in the words written. “As a writer, it made sense for me to put my thoughts down into words, and I was doing it initially as a form of catharsis,” she shares, adding that sharing the pain has diluted its intensity.

In contrast with her other works, the latest stands out in terms of style and approach, an intentional move from her end. “It’s more straightforward and is like having a conversation with the readers. Each reader, who picks up the memoir, would probably feel like we are sitting over a cuppa and talking, unloading our deep, painful thoughts,” explains Wajid.

She faced several challenges writing her memoir, including organising her thoughts and reliving painful memories, with each word carrying the weight of her loss. “Writing itself was painful,” she notes, adding, “It was haphazard and a bit all over the place. I was reliving each of those days, and it made the pain fresh. Time was the only factor that helped me overcome them.”

Despite the challenges, she was driven by perseverance and determination to complete the memoir, a tribute to the dear ones she lost. “Everyone handles grief differently. As a writer, it seemed to make sense to write down my thoughts and feelings because the void in my life was so huge and inescapable,” she says. The process of writing, however, gave Wajid a new perspective on life and relationships. “It made me aware of the small joys in life that one often ignores, waiting for big days and moments. Both are equally important,” she shares. When asked what the readers can take away from the memoir, she said, “I feel grateful when readers reach out to me, telling me how much the book has helped them verbalise their grief. Reading the memoir is subjective, and each reader takes something different from it.”

This article is written by Anjali Ram