Aksomaniac explores guilt and intimacy in his latest single, Paapam

If there’s one thing Aron Kollassani Selestin, better known by his stage name, Aksomaniac, has struggled with, it’s penning lyrics in his mother tongue, Malayalam. But it all changed when the 22-year-old indie musician from Thiruvananthapuram penned the lyrics for his last song, Kanmashi, featuring vocalist Archa Quaser and produced by Fatboi Raccoon.

A poignant track exploring self-exploration and queer identity, Kanmashi resonated widely, firmly establishing Aksomaniac as a name to watch in the indie scene. And now the singer is back with his next, Paapam. We chat with him about the new track.

Aksomaniac drops Paapam, a track about shame and self-discovery

“Paapam began as an instrumental sent to me by Fatboi Raccoon. I sang the hook over it, and it immediately reminded me of a pregnancy scare and the shame that often surrounds that kind of experience. I wanted to write about that specifically, but because of my limitations as a Malayalam writer, I could only touch on shame and guilt in a broader sense. The music video ended up doing the heavy lifting, exploring the internalized shame around physical intimacy shaped by societal conditioning.

This time around, the singer joins forces with Shreyas Sagvekar, a genre-bending rapper. “Shreyas and I connected through Instagram, in a comment section. He initially wanted to make an intimate R&B track, but I pitched him a dance track that addresses the repression around intimacy in our country. That conversation is what led us to Paapam.”

Quiz Aksomaniac if he expected the kind of response he received for Kanmashi, and he says, “Kanmashi was more internal than Paapam, and I didn’t expect people to hold it so close the way they have. But I’m glad I get to soundtrack people’s lives in that way. It’s a song about embracing your sexuality and identity, and those are the kinds of conversations I’m trying to facilitate through my music.

Interestingly, the songs Paapam, Kanmashi, Aliyum, and Karupp are part of a larger body of work titled Varthamanam. “Let me talk about Aliyum, which is the next one. It is about consoling your partner when the two of you are fundamentally different, to the point where even your orientations feel completely opposite. The dynamic starts to feel like it just does not work. But the song is about acknowledging those differences and still validating the compassion between you. It is about how, even through all the contrast, your connection still feels natural and right.”

Given his self-professed challenges with writing in Malayalam, how does he keep evolving with each release? “My friends always guide me when I am lost. They’re a big part of the process. I’m also reading more in Malayalam to better understand the language and feel more confident in my songwriting.

Aksomaniac’s music also blends a variety of musical styles. Throwing light on his genre-fluid sound, he says, “I think the classical music training I had for almost ten years gave me a strong foundation. But the biggest factor has been constantly challenging my ears, sitting down and listening to new and diverse music, even when it didn’t resonate with me at first. That curiosity shaped how I approach sound today.

And who were his musical inspirations growing up? “I grew up listening to Indian film music, be it artistes like AR Rahman, Anirudh Ravichander, Deepak Dev, Gopi Sundar, Rex Vijayan, and Santhosh Narayanan. It was only after 11th grade that artistes like James Blake, Sampha, and Bon Iver started to take up space in my life musically.

Prod him about the reason behind the surge of independent musicians from Kerala, and he says, “Malayalis are a well-travelled diaspora; we’re everywhere. With the rise of hip-hop-oriented music, where truth and identity are central, people are connecting more deeply with that honesty. It feels personal; it feels bespoke. The audience for this kind of honesty has always been here. Even Kalabhavan Mani’s music worked for us because it felt raw and intimate. We’ve just been waiting for these new stories through sound to reach us.

And, if he had a chance to collaborate with one of his contemporaries in the indie space, who would it be and why? “Shikriwal, who I believe makes music in Bhojpuri. His new album has been on my mind a lot, and I hope I get to talk to him soon. For me, collaboration is not the main goal. I am looking for conversation and insight. I feel a little less lonely in this space when I get to connect with musicians who make music I care about.”

Finally, we ask the singer about his name, Aksomaniac, and how he came up with it. He says, “It was a young Aron who was in 6th or 7th grade and wanted to get onto Instagram and needed a username. I chose the initials from my full name, Aron Kollassani Selestin, A K S, and added maniac with an O in between. It doesn’t feel so resonant with my music right now, but I’m still validating my younger self by honouring the endeavour. There was an early inclination to just have fun with it and not think too cerebrally about it.

sangeetha.p@newindianexpress.com

X-@psangeetha2112

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