Over the year, Billie Eilish has been open with her struggles about body image. The singer first addressed the issue during her arena tour, and then went on to share the moving video on YouTube. In the video, the 18-year-old can be seen slowly stripping off her clothes, while addressing body shamers. Now, in an interview, the Bad Guy singer has further delved into the subject, detailing where she believes the problem stems from.
"Here's a bomb for you: I have never felt desired. My past boyfriends never made me feel desired. None of them," Eilish said. "And it's a big thing in my life that I feel I have never been physically desired by somebody."
"So I dress the way I dress as I don't like to think of you guys — I mean anyone, everyone — judging [my body], or the size of it," she continued. "But that doesn't mean that I won't wake up one day and decide to wear a tank top, which I have done before."
"Sometimes I dress like a boy. Sometimes I dress like a swaggy girl," she said. "And sometimes I feel trapped by this persona that I have created, because sometimes I think people view me not as a woman. That tour video was about all that. It is me saying: 'look, there is a body underneath these clothes and you don't get to see it. Isn't that a shame?'"
Asked if she sees herself finding a mate, Eilish wasn't sure if there's room for someone else. Maybe eventually, she says, but for now she can't see it. "All I ever wanted was a boyfriend," she said. "Any time when it was rainy or cloudy, all I would wish is I was with some boy. That was my thing. Whenever we were somewhere nice, a beach or a balcony with a sunset, I would never be able to enjoy the experience as I just used to wish I was with some boy. And I couldn’t be further away from that. I’ve had my heart broken, sure. People have done some terrible s--t to me. The crazy s--t I have gone through. I have never felt powerful in a relationship.”
Billie Elish
Watch the video where the singer addressed body shamers here.