Chrissy Teigen pens emotional essay on her miscarriage: 'Don't want to ever not remember Jack'

The model also went on to share why it was important for her to share pics from the hospital

author_img R Vargese Published :  28th October 2020 04:32 PM   |   Published :   |  28th October 2020 04:32 PM
Chrissy Teigen, John Legend speak of 'deep pain and shock' after losing baby

Chrissy Teigen with John Legend

A few weeks after announcing the devastating loss of her son, Jack, Chrissy Teigen published an emotional essay on Medium that explains a little more about what happened.

In late September, she revealed that, after weeks of bed rest during pregnancy, she’d been hospitalised. In the new essay, Chrissy says she was diagnosed with a partial placental abruption. The model made sure to thank all the well-wishers who sent her flowers and heartwarming letters which started with "You don't have to respond to this, but..." It was something that gave her true relief. Explaining what happened the day they lost baby Jack, she recounted how they had tried bags and bags of blood transfusions but it didn't work. The day before she lost baby Jack, she cried a little and then went into a complete meltdown and even when she wrote this essay, she was overcome with the same pain. Chrissy also explained why she shared those intimate photos when she and John said goodbye to baby Jack.


I didn’t know how to come back to real life so I wrote this piece for Medium with hopes that I can somehow move on but as soon as I posted it, tears flew out because it felt I don’t want to ever not remember jack. . . Thank you to everyone who has been so kind. Thank you to the incredible doctors who tried so hard to make our third life a reality. Thank you to my friends and family and our entire household for taking care of me through all the adult diaper changes, bed rest and random hugs. Thank you John for being my best friend and love of my life. A lot of people think of the woman in times like this but I will never forget that john also suffered through these past months, while doing everything he could to take care of me. I am surrounded, in a human therapy blanket of love. I am grateful and healing and feel so incredibly lucky to witness such love.

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She then went on to share, "I had asked my mom and John to take pictures, no matter how uncomfortable it was. I explained to a very hesitant John that I needed them, and that I did NOT want to have to ever ask. That he just had to do it. He hated it. I could tell. It didn’t make sense to him at the time. But I knew I needed to know of this moment forever, the same way I needed to remember us kissing at the end of the aisle, the same way I needed to remember our tears of joy after Luna and Miles. And I absolutely knew I needed to share this story."

Teigen also commented on the photos she and her husband, John Legend, posted on social media after their loss—and the backlash they received. “I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos. How little I care that it’s something you wouldn’t have done,” she wrote. “I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like. These photos are only for the people who need them.”