Tara Sutaria reflects on her journey as a woman, making her mark in a male-dominated industry and why women need to be their biggest cheerleaders

I think we as women have always had a strong sense of community, intelligence (emotional and cerebral) and a great deal of power in all that we do. We are also sensitive, capable and resourceful beings. If we come together rather than stay apart, and speak up unabashedly about injustices and unfairness towards ourselves and each other, tough as it may sometimes be, then we can help create change in our very patriarchal world. I am proud to see a change in so many professional and personal ecosystems today, where women deservedly hold positions of power — a non-existent concept even just a few decades ago. We have a long way to go to create true equality and a sense of fairness and unity with men, but I believe we can achieve this if we stay united and are supported and understood by each other.

I think some women in the film industry have finally been given opportunities to portray, direct, produce and write stories that talk about the female experience — something that wasn’t known as well a few decades ago. But this hasn’t happened nearly as much as it ought to. Women led films and shows are still few and far between, and a lot of male led films simply have the female lead as a supporting member with less screen time and no real arc to her character, and an enormous difference in her pay — this is even with very well-loved female stars (which makes no sense to me since they pull in plenty of audience and have amassed a huge following on social media).

I have often found male actors and directors creatively change scripts and dialogues for the entire cast, exchange ideas and decide things like costume for the female lead and choose angles for shooting scenes while never involving or communicating with the actress on board regarding the same. This too is unfair and unjust, and happens with a lot of actresses in big commercial film set-ups. I think there is also a preference given to male actors about giving their shots first on a set and the actress often has to wait for hours — something I cannot understand and refuse to accept. I have been raised by my folks with an extremely fair and equal understanding of both sexes and so, I am often aghast and appalled at the dominance and superior treatment of men (not only in our job but jobs everywhere).

We must be loud and proud to stand up for our very essential and basic right to be treated fairly and equally, since we have skill, capability and power, even at the risk of losing out on work and not being “liked” by those that do not see or understand the conversation of equality.

I have never understood or believed in the concept of ‘conform’. I think this comes from my upbringing. My parents never believed in the idea of raising my sister and I to fit in or stick to any traditional mindsets and theories. We were always communicated with as equals even as kids, told to celebrate and share in each others’ creativity and passions, and there was never an impetus put on being like everyone else. We were and are given freedom of expression and thought, and were told it was absolutely okay to disagree with adults and have our own perspectives, but with the respect and understanding that everyone’s experience is their own and not to thrust opinions on anybody. This has helped us stay true to ourselves as young people navigating the world and its many stresses; and in an industry where we are almost expected to be a certain way, I am pleased to retain my sense of self and guide my energy to what I believe is good and right for me, no matter how much pressure there may be externally. This is why I say it’s so important to remember who you really are! So many of life’s trials can be altered and bettered when you do.

I think what makes me the person I am is an interesting amalgamation of how we’re raised, but also who I personally chose to become as I grew up. My formative years were imperative in shaping who I’ve become, but so are the many lessons that I’ve taught myself, or perhaps life has taught me. And I think just staying true to yourself, and being intuitive — discovering and learning things about yourself, which only comes with quiet contemplation and self reflection — has really helped me grow into the person that I always wanted to be. It’s a very fast paced world and a fast paced business that I’m a part of, so it’s very easy to get swayed and to not necessarily remain grounded, but I think also having a really great support system in my childhood friendships, has really helped me stay true to myself.

I think a message I’d like to share this Women’s Day, and really just every day, would be to remember who you really are, no matter what life throws your way. And of course, there’ll be so many things right through different ages and stages of our lives, but I think it’s so important that we stay grounded and remember what we stand for —with our beliefs and the way we perceive ourselves, rather than the way that we are perceived by others. Also, surround yourself with people who are your equals, intellectually, emotionally, intuitively, and always stick to your gut and intuition. As a woman, we have this great sensitivity towards understanding others, but we also have that with ourselves and because as women, we are so giving, we sometimes forget to love ourselves and be there for ourselves, the way that we are there for others. So listen to your gut and intuition about yourself, love yourself the way you love others and give to yourself what you give to others.

I have been very mindful of what I’ve wanted to give my time to and say yes to when it comes to the movies that I’m a part of now. I’ve had the good fortune to have been offered wonderful films with wonderful makers and co actors. However, earlier, I was younger, newer to the industry and I really did feel that I wanted to do a lot of work. It’s very exciting when you’re new in any industry. But I also recognised along the way that there were certain films that either I was advised would be good for me, that actually didn’t really resonate with me, that I did do in my career. And while, of course, there are no regrets, there’s been a lot of learning from those experiences. So when I did my last film, Apurva, I decided that I enjoy doing a certain kind of cinema, that ignites me, excites me, and I only want to give my time and energy going forward to films that make me feel that way. I also find that when we do things that really speak to us, that’s when the end result really is fantastic.

There’s a lot to look forward to, but I think it’s important to choose scripts wisely. Rather than focus on quantity, I’d much rather focus on quality.

There have been multiple challenges, but I’ve managed to overcome them quite well. Considering my support system and also truthfully, just knowing myself and knowing what I stand for, I’ve always come out of any challenge in the industry with my head held high, which is really all I think one can ask for. But I think as somebody who doesn’t come from a film background, and I know this rings true for other people who are also from the industry, who don’t have film family backgrounds, they feel the same way — I think there’s a certain level of isolation and loneliness that comes with not having a guide or a mentor in this industry, and it can be quite stressful and very scary. And I see, you know, people in the industry who have that, and I see that there’s a free flowing conversation that they are able to have with so many — either family members or relatives or friends, because they’ve grown up in and around the industry. So yes, I did face challenges in the first few years of my career, but now I feel a lot more settled in my choices and decisions. Over the years, of course, I’ve made some wonderful friendships and maintained those, so things are much better.

I think my long term aspirations would really be doing work that is exciting and makes me feel good to be a part of. I’m currently working on something that’s really exciting and different, and it makes me feel good when I go to the set every day. So I think the idea is to, even if it means doing one film a year, do something really special. But my main aspiration is to get back to my music. I’ve finally put together a series of concerts that will be open to audiences very soon. I have always been a huge and ardent admirer of live performance and music. I used to sing so much when I was growing up at so many beautiful venues in Mumbai, and I’m getting back to that this year. I’ll be singing on stage after a very long time; I’m really looking forward to it.

I would absolutely love to talk about the film that I’m working on at the moment, but I sadly can’t share anything yet, but I can tell you that this is the most unusually exciting and wonderful film to be a part of, and when we do announce it, it’s going to be massive.

Like I said, this year there’s going to be a series of concerts that I will be doing. I remember doing my first ever concert when I was like six years old at the NCPA, so I’ve been performing there practically all my life. And yes, about my cooking, I am actually in the beginning stages of writing my first cookbook. I have been working on this quietly, but I’m very excited to, as time goes by, share more about it through my social media.

I like playing music on my amazing little record player — old records from the 50s and 60s. Of course, I love to cook; I love throwing parties, very old fashioned soirees and dinner parties. My childhood friends, my sister and I, love to go to a neighborhood karaoke place where we all get together at least twice a month, and we make sure to see each other and spend time together. It’s absolutely wonderful—we’re singing, dancing, eating, drinking and just having a really merry, lovely time. So that’s essentially what I do. I also love to just be home — spending time at home with people I love.