Is solo polyamory the new feminist dating trend?

The 2020s have been a time of change, particularly when it comes to how we view relationships. The pandemic not only disrupted the global order but also radically altered our personal lives. As society grappled with this new reality, traditional relationship structures began to shift.

Recent studies offer insight into these changes.

Studies reveal the changes in relationship structures, bringing in concepts like solo polyamory

For instance, an OECD study found a 20 per cent decline in marriage rates across 32 countries in 2020. Meanwhile, in India, a 2023 Bumble survey discovered that 60 per cent of singles view ethical non-monogamy (which includes open relationships and polygamy) as the way forward. This transformation in relationship norms has largely been driven by women asserting more control over their financial, emotional, and sexual lives. At the forefront of this movement is solo polyamory—a trend gaining traction in the modern dating landscape.

But before we dive deeper, let’s define what polyamory is.

What is Polyamory?

Polyamory is the practice of having multiple romantic or intimate relationships, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

So, What Is Solo Polyamory?

Solo polyamory is essentially polyamory with a twist—the individual is their own primary partner. In this lifestyle, the person has multiple romantic connections, but they maintain an independent, self-sufficient way of life. They don’t live with their partners, share finances, or follow the conventional milestones that typically tie people together in more traditional relationships. It’s a lifestyle that prioritises independence and autonomy, and it can be either a permanent or temporary choice.

The core idea is empowering yourself to be your primary source of love and support. In this model, you are free to make decisions without having to compromise with a partner on things like:

What to do on a weekend?

Where to travel?

Where to live?

In traditional relationships, compromise is key. You adjust your plans and preferences to align with your partner’s desires. But when you choose to prioritise yourself, you no longer have to make those compromises—your decisions are entirely yours. And for many, that feeling of self-determination is incredibly empowering.

By making yourself the center of your own life, you no longer need to rely on others for emotional fulfillment or security—you provide that for yourself. You radiate love, instead of seeking it. You aren’t dependent on having a partner; if you choose one, it’s because you want to, not because you need to.

Solo polyamory encourages people to be highly self-reliant, living life on their own terms and refusing to rely on a single person for all their needs. While this approach can foster deep independence, it may also lead to challenges, like feelings of loneliness or a sense of disconnection from others. These emotional risks can impact mental well-being over time.

What do you think about this growing trend in modern dating?