9 things to consider if you want to move in with your partner

Are you and your long term partner debating on whether to move in together? It is easier said than done. If you do want to move in, then have a sit-down conversation about the pros and cons of the same, before taking a big step in your relationship. Here’s what you need to look into if you are thinking of elevating your relationship into a live-in with your partner.

Planning to move-in with your partner, have you got your checklist ready?

Thinking about moving in with your partner then it is worth considering finance, logistics, personal space and more instead of just concentrating on testing compatibility in a relationship. Here’s a practical guide of things to keep in mind if you want to go in for a live-in relationship.

Clear rationality: Be very clear in your head that you want to move in with your partner and the reasons for it. Are you two planning to take your relationship in the next stage by moving in together? Are you trying to give each other time to understand and balance togetherness and personal space in a relationship? All these should have an answer before you commit to moving in.

Manage the finances: Before you move in to your partner’s house or to a completely new place together, sit down and have a financial discussion. How much would each of you contribute towards the rent, bills, groceries etc? Keep a note of any debts and when they are due. Do as much savings as possible by cutting down on unnecessary expenditure. And most importantly, keep aside an emergency fund.

Legalities: Double check if the space, especially when on rent, allows unmarried young couples to stay together. More often than not that becomes a bone of contention between the landlords and adds to severe stress.

House chores: Assumptions should be done away with because household chores will not happen automatically. Have a discussion on who would do what or weekly decide who can contribute how much. Each partner in a relationship has to share the load of running the household and also cannot go on doing the same chores all the time. Rotate between the two of you when it comes to cooking or cleaning. Moreover, discuss if you are in a position to hire a house-help.

Personal Space: Living together with your partner doesn’t amount to either one of you giving up your individuality. It is equally important. Personal space should be taken seriously and may comprise of me-time, work from home boundaries or socialising with friends coming over. And each must respect the other person’s space for a healthy relationship.    

Conflict resolution: During your relationship, even when you are not living together, keep a tab on anger issues or conflict resolution. See how calmly or practically the other person handles adverse situations. This is important because when two distinct personalities start sharing a lifestyle, disagreements are bound to arise, and these disagreements should not poke holes in the relationship. That should be the ultimate goal.

Lifestyle compatibility: Check whether both you and your partner share similar lifestyle. What are your sleep schedules or food habits? How hygienic and clean both partners are, is very important while living together. What is the financial mindset of the person- do they try to save or spend a lot? Assessing these, before or while living together is when you get to know your partner well.  

Emotional stability: When you meet your partner a few days a week, you see their best self. But when you stay with them 24 hours for 7 days, you see their everyday self. These two might be very different from each other. After living with them for a month or so, contemplate whether you are emotionally ready to accept the ‘every day’ self with all their idiosyncrasies.

Exit plan: Absolutely! An exit plan is a must and should be made as the last resort. If you anticipate that the live-in or the relationship itself doesn’t work out in the long run, then how do each partner take their responsibility? Who moves out? How much expense sharing will take place in such a situation? If you have pets, what would become of them?

Thus, if you are planning on moving –in with your partner, have clear answers to each of these parameters, and only then go ahead.

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