What is attachment theory? The psychology behind how we bond, love, and connect

Over time, attachment theory has become a popular concept. It is a very useful way to understand our relationship behaviours. How we behave in romantic, platonic and workplace partnerships is often explained by how we create emotional connections to one another, how we react to people we feel close to and how we communicate when disagreements arise.

What is attachment theory and how does it impact your relationships?

Child psychiatrist John Bowlby created attachment theory in the 1950s. According to him, humans are born with an instinct to form strong emotional ties to their caregivers. The infants always expect protection, comfort and security from their caregivers. This early sense of security helps to give the child a better chance for survival and healthy development.

As per John, the nature of early childhood attachments impacts children's learning of how to connect with people. Over time, these patterns will evolve into attachment styles. Attachment Theory classifies individuals into one of four categories: i.e., secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized.

Secure attachments:

When a child has been cared for consistently and has had their emotional needs met consistently they will develop a secure attachment. He/she will have no issues with showing closeness or intimacy with another person, communicating clearly and openly, and understanding their own personal space

Anxious attachments:

People with anxious attachment patterns often fear of abandonment. Individuals with anxious attachment may also feel that their partner is not as loving or affectionate towards them as they would like. Often, people with this type of attachment behaviour are characterised as clingy or needy.

Avoidant attachments:

This Attachment Theory is characterised by fear of intimacy. Self-sufficiency is often emphasized by those with an avoidant attachment style. They avoid developing close emotional relationships and may struggle to trust people. They may keep their walls up because they are often overwhelmed by emotionally intimate relationships.

Disorganised attachments:

Disorganised attachment is one of the rarest types of attachment. It shares characteristics of anxious and avoidant attachment styles. Those with disorganized attachment tend to have a high desire for intimate relationships but also experience a strong fear of being close to someone.

Attachment styles are never static or permanent. Your self-love and self-worth also affect the concept of attachment theories.

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