On International Women’s Day, Kubbra Sait speaks on what women really want
At the mention of Kubbra Sait, one can’t help but immediately think of Kukoo, a transgender character from Anurag Kashyap’s Sacred Games. Six years since the show aired, Kubbra is still synonymous with Kukoo, something she finds “very interesting, and to see that people talk about Kukoo being relevant even today.” Kukoo never left Kubbra, but like a true artiste, she went on to add many more layers to herself as an actor, picking diverse roles, be it Sheetal in TVF Tripling; Mamie Ahuja in The Verdict – State vs Nanavati; a cameo in Gully Boy; Shazia in Dolly Kitty Aur Woh Chamakte Sitare; Sana in The Trial; or Pallavi Raj in Shehar Shehar Lakhot. However, by her own admission, she feels “when I started acting, I really didn’t know anything about it. I mean, I still don’t, which, I think, is the beauty because then you can mould me like clay and make me fit into the character that you yourself can see me transforming into. The concept of unlearning is a really big factor in me as a person,” Kubbra says, before she got on the stage to host the launch of Seagram’s Longitude 77 in Dubai, UAE, recently. “I think there couldn’t have been a better place and a better moment for someone like me who started her career (as an emcee) from Dubai.”
Hosting has been Kubbra’s forte. She has also won India’s Best Female Emcee Award in the past. The stage, she tells us, is where she feels completely free. “It (the stage) is the one place on earth where you can be yourself. There are no pretensions. There is no role-playing. And you connect with the audience almost instantly. I’m funny and I love to think on my feet and playing off moments that are real,” she shares.
Kubbra is as real as it can get. She has broken many stereotypes, be it in the kind of roles she has played on screen, or being vocal about abortion and mental health. In her, we find the perfect woman to speak to on the occasion of International Women’s Day. Since the day marks a long fight for the right to equality between genders, we begin the conversation asking her where do women, in her opinion, stand today in terms of equality in all spheres and across strata. “I feel (and I’ve said this before) that I don’t think we need one day in the world to make us realise that it’s Women’s Day today! I don’t think even Valentine’s Day is as important. If we love every day and if we respect each other every day and recognise the strength in each other every day, it would be worth enough for us to celebrate Women’s Day every day, and that is what I mean by equality in every sphere across the strata. Of course, we’re working towards pay parity. Of course, we’re working towards visibility. Of course, we’re working towards greater positions. Like, just today when I was talking to one of the team members at Longitude 77, I met the head of innovation, and she is a woman. I genuinely feel we’re in a place where we are speaking about creating equality, creating space, and that for me today is a win. It wasn’t existing maybe two decades ago or even a decade ago. Having said that, I’m interested, as a woman, to see what happens in the coming decades,” she says.
As we get comfortable talking, we are still unsure of whether we are broaching the right topic next, because there is no (known) correct way of asking a woman about an abortion that she has had, considering there is so much of conditioning (and, of course, stigma) that invariably makes a woman feel ridiculous about herself should she choose abortion; so we take a pause, then begin. What helps is that Kubbra has mentioned about this phase from her life and how she got pregnant while on a diving expedition in the Andamans, in her book Open Book: Not Quite a Memoir. As someone who has undergone this excruciatingly personal and difficult (if we may say so) experience, we get Kubbra to tell us what needs to change for women not to feel burdened and disgusted if they are in a place where they have to choose abortion. “I feel you should never be forced to do anything. It is your body, and a woman has a right, has a total veto power over her body,” she says and insists that, “What needs to change are the societal norms that are around us, so that women don’t feel burdened or disgusted (about herself for choosing to abort). I don’t even know why we should feel disgusted in the first place! Choosing life is on the same plate as not choosing it because at the end of the day, you (a woman) are responsible for that life and that’s really important to notice and take into account.”
The honesty in her voice and her courage to live life on her own terms almost instantly makes her the hero all women need, especially in a time where a lot of people think half the problems in the world are because of ‘independent’ women, with the belief that this has shaken the balance/ the role of the provider and the nurturer. As we discuss this aspect, Kubbra is quick to add, “I feel we give a lot of importance to ‘Oh, he is masculine, so he is male. She is feminine, so she is female.’ But we all have sensitivity and smartness. We have intelligence, intellect, and empathy. This balance is what is missing; not that women are out of balance and that is why we cannot be providers and nurturers in the same breath. I feel if men and women choose to independently tell each other honestly how they feel about certain situations, the balance will be restored. But I think we spend so much time fighting against it that the balance is consistently imbalanced.”
As in her personal life, in her career too, Kubbra has always let her heart and her gut feeling take precedence in guiding her. From hosting, to small roles in films, and finally being noticed as Kukoo, she tasted success in a manner she perhaps didn’t imagine. “I think it’s all work in progress. Did I know I’m going to be so cool? Yes! Did I want to be so cool? Absolutely! Did I know that it’s (success) going to come to me through a character as profound, as cool, as path-breaking and groundbreaking as Kukoo? Nope. So, I feel it’s about the chances that you take in life, and I’m very humbled for all the opportunities I’ve received; small, big, large. The idea is to be true to yourself, to your art, and try to do your best in every given opportunity. And va-va-voom, there you go! So, then you realise that there is nothing called small roles, or small stages. It’s just life, and if you treat your work like the way you would treat life, I think you will see that every opportunity is awesome,” she shares.
Although Kubbra wasn’t stereotyped and thankfully, not offered similar roles after playing Kukoo, as she tells us, what she found funny was that “people did Google a lot and ask if I was male, female, or really trans. That was interesting! There were also Google polls in the world that I still find funny!” she says.
Currently, Kubbra is in a very comfortable space “working exactly in the kind of projects that I want to work in.” She says she is enjoying the process as of now because “It’s taking me to world stages. It’s taking me to world sets! We’re working on a film, which will be released soon. And I think I’m going to be even more awesome this year,” she laughs.
The lights, the laughter, the glimmer, the shine, the films, the projects, and the roles apart, our conversation with Kubbra won’t be complete without discussing mental health, an essential aspect of every person’s life today. Kubbra breaks some misconceptions around mental health by saying, “Instagram is the shittiest therapist you can have. So, please do not follow Instagram and do not learn everything and call everyone a narcissist! If you feel that you are at a place in your life where mentally you need help, be it regarding any sphere — business or personal — please seek professional advice. I do understand we are in a world today where conversations around mental health are still evolving, but that doesn’t mean help is not possible.”
Sharing with us on how she takes care of her mental health, Kubbra says, “I switch off. I understand we’re humans, we’re not robots. But there is a switch-off button. Recently, I climbed Mount Kilimanjaro; I didn’t use my phone for 10 days, and it was phenomenal! Also, whenever I need help, I speak to my therapist, and not read or seek advice from Instagram.”
Before we end the conversation, we can’t help but ask Kubbra what’s the secret to her youthful look, and she replies, “I stay happy. I love as much as I think I can, physically, mentally, emotionally. And this love is not just extended to the outside. It’s also to the inside of who I am as a person. The smile you see is coming from inside, and I like that.”
Email: rupam@newindianexpress.com
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