Anyone who is into modern-day dating is quite familiar with the term ‘red flag’. It is usually mentioned to mark someone who has behavioral or personality issues and may not be the perfect one for you. But remember, a red flag doesn’t suddenly start getting aggressive or even abusive, he / she keeps showing signs for you to recognise. The faster you pick them up and act accordingly, the better it is for you. If you are very new to the dating game and still unable to identify red flags, then here are eight cues to look out for.
A person who is deemed to be a red flag starts showing minute signs throughout their interaction with you. Something as simple as how they behave with someone of a different economic strata or someone younger to them, shows what kind of person they truly are. Here are eight signs for you to understand and identify red flags in your partner.
All about consistency: The first few times you meet your date, they can appear all charming, grounded and humble. But carefully notice, if they remain the same throughout and always or if there are slight changes in their behaviour as they start getting more comfortable with you. Inconsistency is the first hint to understanding something is wrong. Frequent mood swings, cussing, or becoming suddenly aggressive cannot be one time excuses that overshadows the usual charm. These are deep hidden patterns that slowly start emerging.
No is a NO: Always check if your partner respects boundaries and takes a ‘no’ from you in a positive manner. Someone who cannot handle a no may in time start showing their control-freak personality.
Is accountability in? Someone who loves and cares for you will also share accountability and responsibility if things start going topsy-turvy. In case of a mistake, see if they start blaming you all the time or whether they own up to their mistakes. Constant blaming and not owning up may start developing cracks in the relationship too.
Respecting others? Be mindful when you introduce other close friends and family to your partner. See how they behave with them. Try to take a feedback about the meeting when you are alone and see how they speak about them when they are not present. A red flag might bad-mouth, try to brainwash or disrespect other people. Oftentimes, many are gas lighted to break relations with close friends and family, and that is the worst situation one can find themselves in.
Emotionally unstable: Observe carefully if your partner has frequent mood swings or emotional outbursts. See if they are trying to hurry things up instead of allowing it to build up with time. If you notice, there’s a constant hurry and irritation when you try to defy the rapidness, then it is time for you to think over the relationship.
Conflict resolution: Every relationship will have conflicts and fights. But there is always a solution if the two sit down, have a dialogue and try to rationally come to a conclusion about the problem. If you notice that your partner keeps blaming everything on you, all the time, takes no responsibility and has sudden emotional and anger outbursts that might be a typical red flag sign.
Trust issues: Sometimes, what comes off as care on the face value may actually be because of a deep rooted trust issue. Say you have to meet your friends in the evening. Your partner may offer to drop you off but hang around to see if you are truly meeting your friends or somebody else. These may get overshadowed as sweet gestures in the beginning but when it starts occurring frequently and you start getting questions on your friends and your relationship with them, its time you identify the signs.
Intuition: Is a very big thing. Sometimes, your mind and heart keeps telling you that your partner may not be the right person for you. Ideally don’t jump to conclusions but also try to verify it in your own way. Who knows, your intuition may have been correct all along?
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